Johannesburg – For many women, “having it all” often feels like trying to hold everything together at once.
A successful career, a happy family, meaningful relationships, personal wellbeing and somehow finding time for yourself can quickly become an impossible balancing act.
For award-winning radio presenter, television personality, author and mother Carol Ofori, the secret isn’t about achieving perfect balance. It’s about permitting yourself to be human.
Balance Starts With Self-Reflection: “I think the biggest key to balancing everything is honest self-reflection,” says Ofori.
“You have to allow yourself grace to make mistakes and understand that you’re constantly evolving.”
As women move through different stages of life, she believes they’re continually rediscovering themselves.
“As a woman, you’re navigating your body, and every decade brings a new discovery of self,” Ofori says.
“Just when you think you’ve figured yourself out, you enter a new season of life.
“That means your needs, your priorities, and even your capacity will change, and that’s okay.”
Rather than striving for perfection, Ofori encourages women to check in with themselves regularly.
“You have to ask yourself what’s making you happy, what’s frustrating you, what’s making you feel stuck, and what’s bringing you joy,” she says.
“Those conversations with yourself are incredibly important because if you don’t know how you’re really feeling, it’s impossible to take care of yourself.”
Protect Time That’s Just Yours
Ofori believes those moments of self-care shouldn’t be viewed as luxuries, but as necessities.
“For me, that might look like spending the day at a spa, having lunch with friends, or simply switching off without worrying whether the children have eaten or whether your husband has socks,” she says.
“Whatever it looks like for you, create that space.”
While Ofori acknowledges that every woman’s circumstances are different, particularly for single mothers, she believes making time for yourself is essential.
“It might not happen every month,” she says.
“For me, it’s probably once every three months because of my work schedule.
“But you’ve got to intentionally create that space to release the responsibility, even if it’s just for half a day.”
She also believes women shouldn’t feel guilty for occasionally breaking out of routine.
“Sometimes you’ve got to loosen up a little,” Ofori says.
“Maybe it’s spoiling yourself, saying yes to something you’ve been putting off or simply doing something that’s just for you.
“Having a little rebellious streak every now and then reminds you that you’re still your own person.”
Your Career Should Fulfil You Professionally, Ofori says fulfilment comes from remembering why you started.
“Your career is a cornerstone. You’ve got to enjoy what you do and feel fulfilled by it,” Ofori says.
“There will always be setbacks, difficult relationships and moments where you question yourself, but you’ve got to remind yourself why you’re doing it.”
Celebrate Yourself More Often
Perhaps her most important advice is not to wait for validation from others.
“As wonderful as it is to have supportive friends, family, colleagues or a great boss cheering you on, you’ve also got to become your own biggest supporter,” Ofori says.
Learning to celebrate your own achievements, she says, is an important part of building confidence.
“You’ve got to be okay with tooting your own horn,” says Ofori.
“Women are often taught to stay humble and wait for someone else to recognise them, but it’s okay to acknowledge what you’ve accomplished. You’ve earned it.”
Take a Breath Above All
Ofori encourages women to slow down and simply breathe.
“So many of us don’t know how to breathe anymore,” she says.
“Life gets busy and overwhelming, and we’re constantly rushing from one responsibility to the next.
“Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.”
Because perhaps the real definition of balance isn’t getting everything right, it’s giving yourself the grace to know that you don’t have to.
